It’s Time for the Winter Formal!!!

My friend, Matt Kaye is looking for a date to the Springfield High School 10th Grade Winter Formal.  And I would like to help him get one.

This is Matt and his date from the 9th Grade Winter Formal.  Her name is Sarah and she really loved slow dancing with Matt, resting her chin on his forehead and taking big whiffs of the Dep Matt used to keep his bangs so nice and thick and in place.  Sarah and Matt danced all night long and things were going great right up until the moment he attempted to finger-bang this dainty little butterfly.  It wouldn’t have been so bad, but Matt had never finger-banged anyone before and when he accidentally plunged his middle finger into Sarah’s tight little brown eye, she let out a yowl the likes of which Springfield HS had never heard – not even at a pep rally!

Mr. Jenkins, who was chaperoning the dance, ran over to check on Sarah and all she could do was shuffle painfully away, her wings between her legs, her vagina dry, her butt-hole throbbing.  She cried to herself under the bleachers while Matt went and bought a hotdog for himself.  To this day, he still doesn’t know it was Sarah’s anus that felt the uncut fingernail on his middle finger.  He waved his hand in front of his nose and thought, “Huh.  Smells just like butt.”

As proud as he was to have finger-banged his first girl, he really did like Sarah and her pink outfits.  But the damage was irreparable and so Matt must now find another date for the Winter Formal this year.

COMPATIBILITY FACTOR:

Matt loves: Role Playing Games, bread, the Edmonton Oilers plus he’s a sucker for kittens.

His ideal match: 15-16 years old, sexually “ok” with a little finger-action, likes Subway and knows when not to fucking talk.

If you are interested in attending the Winter Formal with my friend, Matt Kaye, please email him directly at snoopyluvshockey@yahoo.com – it’d be especially cool if you had a car.  Or at least a ride.

written by: Stirling Gardner